God save Her Majesty the Queen

The full title of the Queen of England by virtue of the Royal Titles Act of 1953 is “Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland and of Her Other Realms and Territories Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith.”

She was born Princess Elizabeth Alexandra Mary on April 21, 1926 in London to Prince Albert, Duke of York (later King George VI) and Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon. She married Philip Mountbatten, Duke of Edinburgh, on November 20, 1947, at Westminster Abbey, London. She became Queen on February 6, 1952 and was crowned on June 2, 1953.

With appropriate fanfare, the Queen celebrated her 89th birthday on 21st April 2015. Typical of the British, the preparations for her 90th birthday (in 2016) are already in earnest. It is very thoughtful of her Majesty to have invited the ex-partners of KPMG who are still awaiting their gratuity and pension to what must be the ultimate fun celebration of a life devoted to duty and dedicated to service. She is indeed a rare gem.

Recently, The Sun newspaper sparked a furore by publishing (on July 17, 2015) footage of the Queen giving Nazi salute as a child in 1936. It was a scoop for the newspaper which duly spread it on its front page. It turned out that the grainy film was inadvertently released from the royal family’s private archives.

However, something else was scooped from the royal archives but for whatever reason it has been ignored by the British press. The ex-partners of KPMG stumbled on it while carrying out a forensic audit. It was clearly marked “SECRET” but it provides the answer to Her Majesty’s longevity or at least why she is still alive! The long and short of it is that it is customary for Her Majesty to invite all the Knights of the Garter to dinner at Buckingham Palace once every decade.

Sometime in the 1970s, amongst the Knights of the Garter who had been invited to the traditional dinner at Buckingham Palace was a very distinguished Nigerian medical doctor (and chairman of the Association of Lagos Titled Chiefs), Sir Kofoworola Adekunle Abayomi. He was also the president of the Nigerian Medical Association in addition to being an optician and politician. Others who were awarded the British knighthood were Mobolaji Bank-Anthony; Adetokunbo Ademola; Odumegwu Ojukwu; Abubakar Tafawa Balewa (prime minister); and a very few others.

Anyway, Kofo Abayomi was the only Nigerian knight at the Buckingham Palace dinner (about forty years ago) amongst all those who had come from far and near (from all over the Commonwealth). They were comfortably seated before proceeding to dinner when a palace official quietly informed them: “Gentlemen, Her Majesty will join you in ten minutes. Please be upstanding and kindly remove your hats (or caps) when she arrives to lead the procession to the dining room.”

Kofo Abayomi rose to the occasion brilliantly by protesting very mildly and most courteously: “I am a High Chief from Lagos. If at my age I should stand up and take off my hat for any lady, she will not survive another seven days.”

The message was promptly relayed to the Queen. Her Majesty went down the line of knights and shook hands with each and every one of them as they stood in line. When she reached the spot where Sir Kofo was seated, without losing her poise, she delivered her gracious message: “Sir Kofo, you may remain seated. I do not wish to die within seven days!” Till today, she remains the epitome of majesty and subdued good humour.

Another snippet from the royal archives is a photograph of a little Nigerian boy – Jack Romanes Adewale Randle – who was an adopted grandson of Queen Victoria and was a permanent guest at Buckingham Palace (and other Royal Households) where he was treated as one of the princes.

It is no secret that Her Majesty takes a keen interest in all the goings-on in Nigeria (as well as the rest of the Commonwealth). Here are some of concerns she has shared with ex-KPMG partners (some of whom she remembers meeting when she was the Guest of Honour at the opening of KPMG’s new office at 15 Canada Square, Canary Wharf, London on November 12, 2010). Her Majesty is rightly dismayed by the following reports:

(i) Front page headline, The Punch newspaper, June 30, 2015: “Lagos Food Vendor Kills Man Over N50 Bread”. According to the report, “A 28-year-old man, Ajayi Peters, aka Ajana, has been stabbed to death in the Yaba area of Lagos State after a disagreement over N50 loaf of bread. PUNCH Metro learnt from residents that Peters was killed by a bread vendor, identified simply as Yinka, aka Buredi.”

(ii) Front page Nigerian Tribune newspaper, July 28, 2015 headline: “How My Neighbour Raped My 2-Year-Old Daughter”. The report reads thus: “An Ikeja High Court on Monday remanded in prison one Kehinde Paul Layode for defiling a two-year-old girl (names withheld). Narrating how the incident happened, Mrs Mercy Ofaghae who is also the victim’s mother said the accused was a close neighbour.”

(iii)  Front page Daily Trust newspaper, July 9, 2015. Headline: “Abuja Fake Doctor To Refund 9 Years’ Salaries”. The story reports that “Martins Ugwu, who used his friend’s medical credentials to work in the health ministry’s headquarters, is to refund nine years’ salaries he drew while impersonating his friend,” adding that the federal health ministry was “computing all salaries and allowances which accrued to Ugwu during his mischievous sojourn in the ministry for full retrieval by law enforcement agencies.”

J.K Randle