Communication Skills and Temperament(Parent-Child relationship continues)

For several weeks now we have been discussing how temperament affects your communication skill and how you can use it to harness your relationship with others. The Theory of the Four Temperaments as propounded by Hippocrates and popularized by Tim Lahaye remains a strong influence in everything humans do.

In previous week, we were able to identify the spontaneous Sanguine and the charismatic Choleric, both as children and parents.  The lesson so far is that you should not expect other people to act, talk and think like you. Even as a parent, you should understand that every child is unique. When you recognise distinct individual abilities and talents, you communicate more effectively with love and respect.

3.The Phlegmatic: Children in this category are cool, calm and calculated. Although they tend to be slow and sluggish, if not properly directed. However, you can always rely on them. They are thinkers and planners. They are efficient and practical but are good at procrastination, so you need to set goals for them.  Your phlegmatic child needs prodding, especially in academics because he/she is a daydreamer!

If you are a Phlegmatic parent, you never yell at your children. You are gracious, diplomatic and kind. You can propel your family to work together in an organized and productive manner.

However my dear peaceful phlegmatic, you can become a better parent by being more assertive. Learn to enforce rules and be confrontational if it is necessary for the good of your child. Never shy away from opportunities to discipline your children. Work towards combating your fear and   endeavour to worry less. These attitudes tend to limit your ambition and achievement.

4.The Melancholic: This is a perfectionist, with the highest IQ amongst your children.  They tend to be creative, sensitive, athletic and artistic. Children who fall within this temperament tend to be orderly and reserved, though temperamental.

This is your gifted child, in whom you are well pleased. Unfortunately, he/she thinks otherwise. Therefore, you need to always encourage this child to appreciate his worth and capability.

Your meticulous Melancholic child is a fast learner. Your rote method of learning should not apply to him unlike his other three counterparts. All this gifted child needs is proper exposure and adequate encouragement.

If you are a Melancholic parent, you are an idealist, but you tend to be rigid and uncompromising. You should stop being impossible to satisfy. Learn to commend your child’s effort, especially in academics.

Temper your moods because it makes you vulnerable to depression.  Your high standards drive you towards unhappiness and irritability. Worst still, your children can become psychologically disturbed due to your constant criticism and pessimism.Learn how to express you love, praise and commend your children. Irrespective of your weakness, you can communicate effectively if you work hard at it.

CHIAMAKA BOBBY-UMEANO