Why we have to be very careful

By the time the results of the polls to elect the new president of Nigeria started trickling in on Sunday, 29th March, 2015, Washington DC was literally overwhelmed by the prospects of an incumbent African president, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, being defeated by his opponent, Muhammadu Buhari. There are fifty-four African embassies in Washington DC and they are clustered in close proximity of each other. It did not take long to assemble them at the JW Marriott Hotel at 1331 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington DC to celebrate what was truly a phenomenal and epochal event. Sadly, the Nigerian ambassador was conspicuously missing! His explanation was cryptic: “We have to be very careful. Let us wait for the official result.”

Anyway, once the party got into full swing there was no stopping us – the ex-partners of KPMG who have been awaiting our gratuity and pension. We had been warning all those who would care to listen that Buhari would win but most would not believe us. They were firmly convinced that expecting an African president to lose an election is somewhat akin to expecting a miracle. Indeed, when the miracle happened it was like a thunderbolt! That was not all. Since President Jonathan had telephoned Buhari, the ex-partners of KPMG were summoned to the White House for an impromptu meeting with President Barack Obama. Even he was surprised by the way the election went. It was Fox News that carried it as “BREAKING NEWS” on 1st April, 2015. It just happened to be April Fools’ Day: “Opposition candidate General Muhammadu Buhari won the presidential election by more than 2.5 million votes. Incumbent President Goodluck Jonathan conceded defeat on 31st March, 2015 before the results from all thirty-six states had been announced. The election marks the first time an incumbent president has lost election in Nigeria.”

What was amazing is that most Americans would not believe what they were hearing. They remonstrated:  “You’ve got to be kidding us. We know its April Fools’ Day.”

Thankfully, Barack Obama was on the ball. He was clearly elated. Indeed, he had spent the weekend playing golf at Sunnylands Golf Course with his favourite people – his former classmates and childhood friends Bobby Titcomb, Greg Orme and Mike Ramos.

Sunnylands is a historic residence and high-level retreat centre for national and international leaders. It opened in 1965 and the nine-hole private golf course is part of 200-acre Sunnylands Estate, the winter home of the late billionaire US ambassador to Britain, Walter, and his wife Leonore Annenberg.

Obama summed up matters pretty well: “This is great dawn for Nigeria and Africa. I look forward to working with your president-elect.”

He genuinely meant what he said. He went into overdrive to drum up support for Nigeria and Buhari. In the ensuing euphoria, virtually every world leader from all six continents signified their intention to attend the inauguration on 29th May, 2015. Obama was planning to attend and bring along his First Lady Michelle as well as his two daughters – Malia and Sasha. It would be their first trip to Nigeria. Even the Pope wanted to come personally. The new King of Saudi Arabia, Salmanbin Abdulaziz Al Saud, wanted to attend also.

The guest list for the inauguration was getting longer and longer while the frenzy was becoming even more feverish. Even the likes of Ban Ki-moon, the secretary-general of the United Nations, Jim Yong Kim, president of the World Bank, and Christine Lagarde, managing director of the International Monetary Fund, were consigned to the “Waiting List”!

According to Julian Assange of WikiLeaks and Edward Snowden, formerly a consultant to the CIA, it was the trio of Angela Dorothea Merkel, Chancellor of Germany since 2005; Janet L. Yellen, chairman of US Federal Reserve Bank, and Christine Lagarde (who is rooting for a second term as IMF president) who, after lunching at the Four Seasons Hotel at 2800 Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington DC 20007, New York, insisted that prudence and caution should be on the menu when dealing with Nigeria. They decided to issue a warning to the men who were being so macho about Nigeria:

“We have to be very careful. Let us watch how matters evolve in Nigeria. Rather than all of us rushing to the inauguration, we should invite General Buhari after his inauguration to join us at the G-7 Summit scheduled for 7th and 8th June, 2015 at Schloss Elmau, Krun, in the Bavarian Alps, Germany. We can host the new president of Nigeria at the Kranzbach Hotel near Garmisch-Partenkirchen. We should ask him to bring a ‘wish-list’ and we shall give him all the help we can to salvage his nation’s crumbling economy and tackle the deadly Boko Haram insurgents. As for Nigerian politicians, they are something else! You should see the salaries, pensions and allowances they pay themselves.”

Even Obama was compelled to temper his initial passion and dilute his enthusiasm. Instead, he issued the following statement from the White House: “Deep bonds of friendship unite the people of the United States of America and the people of Nigeria. I hope that following the success of the election process, Nigeria will become a model in the region of good governance, democratic ideals and individual freedom. We remain committed to working with you to build on Nigeria’s achievements in health care, access to electricity, gender equality and in safeguarding Nigeria’s rich cultural heritage for generations to come. Nigeria boasts vast natural resources and Africa’s largest consumer base, but has been plagued by poverty, poor governance and a bloody insurgency by Boko Haram. I have invited President Muhammadu Buhari to visit me in the White House on July 20, 2015 for further discussions.”

As for Pope Francis, his message to President Muhammadu Buhari was cryptic: “Give the poor their voice.” As for Fox News, it has gone to town with the following report from Nigeria: Front-page headline of The Punch newspaper of May 22, 2015: “BUHARI MUST START BY JAILING THIEVES – Kokori”.