The power is in your hands (Part 1)

Earlier in my writing titled, ‘Dear Politician, Your Body Speaks’, I stressed the importance of body language to public office holders.

In every of my training, I take my students through what I call ‘Body Language Faux Pas’. This is important in everyday living especially when you are in people’s face and in the media.

For instance, If by protocol, newly inducted officers are expected to shake hands with their supervisor, must protocol be duly observed by all? If not, what are the implications for such non-verbal communication. Are their consequences for either compliance or defiance?

A report on a study conducted at the University of Iowa  concerning handshakes assert that those ‘who start job interviews with a firm, strong handshake are always perceived in a more favorable light than those who shake hands like a limp fish.

Good hand -shakers are seen as being more extroverted and, eventually, more hirable.

And women with strong handshakes have an advantage over men because their grips are more memorable’.

Despite these high points for handshakes, especially  in the business world, we all must have encountered those who do not believe in handshakes for several reasons. Some argue that handshakes are bad practice because it is a very easy way for people to spread germs. These set of people suggest that the Japanese custom of bowing is more respectful and sanitary.

No matter how we look at it, handshakes remain relevant in our entire world. Your handshake says a lot about you. It can easily reveal some facts about your personality, mentality, experience and attitude. It can portray you as someone who is confident, honest and friendly.

Ensure to create a good first impression with a good handshake.

•A handshake is not a power grip. It should be firm, but kind, not forceful and aggressive.

•A handshake is not perfunctory. Never offer a weak and wimpy hand. Let it be firm and friendly always.

If you suffer from hyperhidrosis – wet hands due to excessive sweating, be sure to dry your hand before a handshake.

•A handshake is not to be isolated. Always maintain eye contact as you extend your hand. Show some teeth!, smile at least. It is attractive and welcoming.

•A handshake is not a task. It is a technique that establishes goodwill and expresses good wishes.

•A handshake is not complete without a spoken greeting. You can say “It’s a pleasure to meet you.” It paves way for a good conversation.

A handshake is not difficult but you can get it wrong. Do it properly because it says a lot about you. Be aware of the social norms of the culture you are in, and act accordingly.

The climax of a handshake is refusing it where it is widely practised and the receiver is eagerly expecting it.

Failure to exchange a handshake may be interpreted as hostility, weakness or lack of professionalism.

Whether you shake hands or not, it is your personal decision. Unfortunately, the interpretation may hurt your personal, political and business relationships. Yes, it could be a subtle act but it sends a powerful message.

Never lose such an opportunity to demonstrate that you have social intelligence and good manners.

Never rob the other person of this amazing opportunity to receive psychological comfort. Negative emotions associated with a bad handshake experience is stored in the brain (amygdala/hippocampus). Your public image should not be associated with the fear conditioning and danger assessment role of these parts of the brain. Memories such as; to remember not to touch the hot stove or eat putrid food is better stored there.

A polite and perfect handshake today will be long remembered tomorrow. The same hand is likely to be extended back to you one day when you need it the most.

CHIAMAKA BOBBY-UMEANO