Man o’ War versus women looking for trouble

We the ex-partners of KPMG who are awaiting our gratuity and pension were in Washington DC for the Joint Spring Meeting of the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund (IMF) from 17th to 19th April, 2015. The other events kept us there till Tuesday 21st largely on account of the Development Committee meetings. The 2015 Annual Meetings of the World Bank Group and the IMF will take place in Lima, Peru, from 9th to 11th October.

We were ensconced in the fabulous “The Willard” – a landmark hotel in downtown DC. Often called the Crown Jewel of Pennsylvania Avenue, The Willard InterContinental is conveniently located just one block from the White House. It is certainly one of the best hotels in Washington DC. The Willard’s unique blend of contemporary luxury, historic charm and warm hospitality reflects the pulsating spirit of the city. There we were in the lap of luxury to discuss poverty and deprivation!

Perhaps we should digress and reveal that during the Second World War there was a ship called “The Willard”, specially built for moving American troops. It belonged to a class of frigates – “Man o’ War” (or Man of War) with special protection against German bombs.

A photo of “The Willard” dominates the lobby of the hotel. However, in Nigeria, “Man o’ War” was the alternative to the Boys Scout. It was meant to toughen secondary (high) school boys against physical hazards. That is how we learnt to swim against the tide at Kuramo Waters in Lagos; as well as rope-climbing; obstacle crossing; map reading; hill climbing; rock excavation; and various survival skills. It was very popular until Wale, a scion of the HO Davies family, drowned, but I believe it survives till today somehow.

The ex-KPMG partners were compelled to draw on their survival skills which had been honed at Man o’ War when the ever so genial manager of the hotel quietly informed us that our American Express Card had been suspended. We would have to pay cash (strictly green backs!). It turned out that the real culprit and the engineer of our plight was the front page headline of Saturday Vanguard newspaper of April 18, 2015. There it was in red blood bold capitals: ‘DEBTS: Buhari, State Governments In Trouble; *Buhari inherits N9.19 Trillion Debt; *Ambode To Face N401.44 Billion Debt; *Most Indebted States: Lagos, Kaduna, Cross River, Edo, Ogun, Bauchi, Katsina, Osun, Oyo, Enugu; *Least Indebted States: Borno, Delta, Plateau, Yobe, Benue, Kogi’.

The ultimatum issued by the hotel was for us to vacate our rooms unless we could get KPMG to pay or (on compassionate grounds) the Nigerian Ambassador to the United States, Adebowale Adefuye, could vouch that we were from the “Least Indebted States”!

While we were still trying to resolve this tricky problem, Fox News dropped a bombshell. It was Tola Adeniyi, the veteran journalist and former editor-in-chief of Nigerian Tribune who delivered the coup de grace. He announced two judgements.

(i) On out-going President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan:

“I almost went as far as saying all his sins should be forgiven despite the fact that the nation’s treasury was depleted during his administration and ALLOWING TERRIBLE WOMEN WHO WERE DAYLIGHT ROBBERS TO WORK WITH HIM, and despite the fact he tried covering so many atrocities that were committed under his administration.”

It was inevitable that his reference to “women” would trigger a firestorm. The angry brigade is after him. They are demanding blood as damages following allegations of SEXISM!

(ii) On President-elect Muhammadu Buhari:

“And the man who could rescue this country is Buhari. He has the discipline, the charisma, confidence and the stamina, and also enjoys the people’s affection. Those who are against him are those saying he jailed some people in the 80s when he was the head of state. He jailed people who were very close to me too; I mean he jailed Bola Ige. I remember always visiting Bola Ige at Agodi Prison, but that notwithstanding, Nigeria needs a strong hand on the lever. In fact, for me, it was short of calling for a coup. There was so much money in the hands of the Nigerian political elite that only a divine intervention or military coup could stop them. Politicians owning oil blocks, controlling $30 billion, there is no way an honest man can fight those ones through elections. Therefore, I see it as a task that Buhari needs to be supported in order to mobilize our people towards rescuing the country.

“We need to address the issue of poverty. By poverty, I don’t mean economic poverty alone. It includes mental poverty. If you see the way some Nigerians argue you wonder if they have a brain at all. Nigeria must free itself of mental poverty and spiritual brainwashing that we have suffered for generations. We also have to solve the problem of massive stealing.”

The problem acquired a different dimension when the Nigerian Ambassador refused to oblige. He insisted: “I am the Ambassador for Nigeria. The whole of Nigeria and all Nigerians without discrimination against any section are my responsibility. It’s there in my Letter of Accreditation. I cannot be expected to segregate Nigerians from Highly Indebted States [HIS] versus Nigerians from Least Indebted States [LIS].”

What followed was media frenzy over allegations of “Racial Profiling”! The only difference is that the victims are Nigerians from Highly Indebted States.

While all this was going on, Nigeria’s outgoing minister of finance, Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala, was on CNN as the guest of Richard Quest for almost an hour at prime time. Richard handled her with uncommon respect bordering on reverence. With a little gentle probing from Richard, the minister proceeded to not only defend her record in office for over four years as the coordinating minister for the economy, she also volunteered her advice to the President-elect Muhammadu Buhari. According to her, it is not true that the economy is in a shambles. Neither is the government broke. Rather, falling oil prices have posed a very serious challenge which in turn has galvanized the non-oil sector as an alternative source of revenue. Furthermore, the government has huge assets in the oil sector which it could dispose of to raise cash. She made specific reference to scaling down the interest of the Nigerian Government/Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation in Joint Ventures wherein the 55 percent interest could be reduced to 30 percent. Reuters promptly carried the report.

Even before she had finished speaking, a clearly incandescent Tam David-West, Nigeria’s former oil minister (under General Buhari), issued a stern warning to Okonjo-Iweala. It was front page headline in The Nation of 18 April, 2015: “DAVID-WEST TO OKONJO-IWEALA: BUHARI DOESN’T NEED YOUR ADVICE”.

J.K Randle