Just before you make that big decision in 2015 (2)

The beliefs you hold have come from parents, a long history of family traditions and culture. Changing them is not going to be overnight; but once you have identified the hidden beliefs causing you pain and recognizing the replacements needed, your healing is right on the way. If your boss is an Indian, for example, and you have believed all your life that it is difficult to have a good working relationship with an Indian, and now you are having a problem with your Indian boss, you are now to recognize the source of this problem. Once you recognize the damage this belief has caused you, you now start rewriting the programme code. Or perhaps you grew up your entire life to be tutored in the fact that marriage to an Igbo man is dangerous. Unless you rewrite the mental programming software, chances are that you are certainly going to have problems when you do marry one. You can point accusing fingers at everything else but the place to point accusing finger at is your belief. To borrow from Nilofer Merchant of Stanford University, “A world that has been conceived and framed is also a world that can also be reconceived and reframed. This alone is powerful. If you believe that bias is simply an accumulation of culturally accepted norms, then you can recognize your power in shifting those norms.”

Contextual bias – Another check you may want to re-examine is the context of the problem. Some problems are created by the context in which you find yourself. If you find yourself working in a city which has suddenly become hostile, you may experience heightened anxiety. Somehow you make a resolve to leave the city altogether. The challenge is after normalcy may have returned, you refuse to let go of past anxiety. A good personal coach might be able to help you unearth the source of your uneasiness, even though you may not know that this is the source of the uneasiness that you are experiencing. Other contextual situation that might be hampering your judgment is an excess desire to have a thing. A disproportionate allocation of weight or significance to the issue at hand at the expense of other issues of your life. If you consider a loss of job to mean the end of your career, you are much likely going to disproportionately allocate value to a “go or stay” decision.

Consideration of other opinions – How much weight or importance you allocate to the opinion of others can significantly affect how you look at an issue. You are faced with a problem; intuitively you sense the best line of action but suspect that the opinions of your friends and relatives may not favour such a course of action. The pressure of reaching a decision begins to weigh heavily on you. Long after you thought about the opinions of others, you forget that this is the source of your anxiety. Reconnect with your inner self, and re-examine all of these external considerations. See the ones that might matter and the ones that do not matter at all. Appropriately assign weights to the ones that matter and reduce the impact these could have on reaching an objective decision.

The love bias – Not working in love towards your colleague or spouse can greatly diminish your ability to make objective decision when the need arises. Unforgiveness is one of the greatest sources of error in making judgments. Do introspection, look inside yourself whether bitterness is reigning in your heart. Forgive any perceived wrongdoing and cleanse yourself of the tangential direction that unforgiveness has brought to the situation at heart. Practice the art of having compassion on people to get rid of this problem. Learn to make more excuses for people’s failures and be less judgmental.

Adequacy of information – Be sure to have sufficient information before you make that big decision. You cannot make the big decisions of your life just on the basis of guesswork or rumours. If there is any issue for which you are not very sure the input information influencing the decision is certain, be bold to seek more information. Take bold steps to seek out the necessary information from whomever.

These are just a few tips to help improve the decisions you make in 2015. There are many other issues not covered by this short article. My hope is that this shortlist will greatly guarantee a better 2015 for you, your loved ones and your family. Wishing you your very best year ever in 2015. Happy New Year.

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