4 practices for managing your emotions in tense moments

Four practices can help you manage your emotions in difficult situations.

1. OWN THE EMOTION: You can’t change an emotion you don’t own. The first thing to do when struck by an overpowering feeling or impulse is to accept responsibility for its existence.

2. NAME THE STORY: Emotions are the result both of what happens and of the story you tell yourself about what happened. One practice that can help you detach from and take control of your emotions is to name the stories you tell yourself. Is it a victim story,a villain story, a helpless story? Naming your stories helps you see them for what they are and make sense of what’s happening.

3. CHALLENGE THE STORY: Once you identify the story, you can take control by asking yourself questions that provoke you out of your victim, villain and helpless stories. Investigate the narrative to see what other factors are contributing to these feelings.

4. FIND YOUR PRIMAL STORY: Most people have a set of repeated stories they tell themselves in response to trying circumstances. Early life experiences become encoded in our potent memories. You can find greater peace by becoming aware of the primal origin of the stories you tell — and learning to challenge your habitual assumptions about situations.