My world had come to an end. My worst fears had become realities and all I could feel was dead weight down in my heart. I thought I had calculated all the risks and insured myself against every possibility of future sorrow. I had planned for the uncertain and yet it caught up with me. I seemed to be in a deep black hole with no way out. I believed I could do nothing; the fight was over, so I just sat. Longing to hear that a mistake had occurred, but no such report came. So, I maintained the status quo.
I allowed myself to wallow in pity and I didn’t want to come out of it, spending my days deep in thought and my nights swimming in tears. All I wanted to do was stay down. I had lost all hope and there was no fight in me. I had taken what life had dealt me without a debate and I had learnt to live with my lot. I was convinced beyond any doubt that light had ceased to exist for me.
Until one day, my deep dark valley was not so dark anymore. I looked way up into the sky and there was a speck of light. I wondered to myself how possible that was. The speck of light lasted for a while, then the darkness came, and it seemed to last longer. This became the trend ever so often, but all I did was sit and look because I knew that the darkness was still going to come. So, I refused to let myself get excited. My focus was to remain sad and that was what I did.
As I sat in the thick dark blanket of my valley, I heard a strong wind moving at the top. It blew so hard that I began to hear screams coming into my domain. I was elated that I was not a part of the ruckus. Curled up in a corner, I remained content in my valley and shed my daily quota of tears till I fell asleep and later woken up by something.
It was unlike anything I had seen in a long time. It burned my eyelids. Fearful of opening my eyes, I used my hands to protect my face. I stayed that way for hours unending until I felt pain no more. When I looked, I saw that darkness had come again to cover my valley.
Comfortable in my previous sorrow, I thought about what made my heart to ache once more and cried myself to sleep.
That unwelcome burning light became a frequent companion. Day in day out, I had to deal with it and the only way I could do that was to shut my eyes as tight as I could and cover my face with my arms. Until one day, I was unable to do so. As I woke up to the burning light, I tried to shut my eyes. But I could not. I tried to pull my hands to cover my face, but I could not.
The light shone so bright and lit up my valley. I looked around and what I saw shocked me. There were skeletons laying in different corners and some other people who seemed to be covering their faces with their hands to block out the light. Then I saw it. There was a ladder which led right to the source of the bright light. So I climbed that ladder into the bright light and when I got out, there was life going on. People were working, laughing and playing. People were living and I shed silent tears for the time I had lost down in the valley. But I didn’t weep for long, for it was time for me to live.
We all have only one shot at life; live it!
Oluwaseyi Lawal
