• Thursday, October 03, 2024
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Presence over presents: What children really need

Presence over presents: What children really need

George stared blankly at the wall in front of him, completely absent and lost in deep thought. The last couple of weeks had been revelatory and deeply discombobulating for him. For the first time in his adult life, and as a parent, the full weight of his actions had come back in full force to haunt him. He was seated outside the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) in the spot that had become his usual spot, praying for a miracle, for God to restore his 14-year old son back to full function.

His sober reverie was broken by a loud scream from his wife, Blossom. “Nurse, please come quickly. Temilade just said something”. George rushed into the room and wept silently as he watched his son’s eyes open for the first time in three weeks. The nurse came in and asked them to leave the room and as he went out, the tears of joy and gratitude wouldn’t stop flowing. He knelt down in the corridor, sobbing quietly as his wife cradled him in her arms. God had heard his prayer and brought his son back to life.

George had always considered himself a great parent who worked hard to give his children the best that life had to offer. He had grown up in a deprived background and had vowed that his children would not lack anything, and providence had smiled upon him. His excellent grades after graduation had landed him automatic employment in a multinational Oil and Gas company. Being the excellent networker that he was, he transited to entrepreneurship after 10 years as an employee. Within that time, he met and married his wife. Life was good and he couldn’t complain.

They were blessed with a son and a set of twin girls that were his world. Their naming, baby dedication ceremonies, and birthday parties were the talk of the town. He had promised that he would give them everything he didn’t enjoy as a child. Everything was lavish and people had so much fun that it became a goal to attend the Georges’ children parties.

As the children grew, the cracks in the relationship started to show. After registering the children in the best schools, he didn’t understand why they still needed him to help them with homework, talk with them or play with them. That was his wife’s job and besides, he didn’t remember his own father ever sitting to gist with him. How? Whenever any of the kids came to him, he’d cut them short and tell them to go and meet their mother. He had done his own part as their father, which was to provide for them.

Temilade George was envied by all the children in his school who wished their fathers were like his. Whenever they expressed this, he’d smile yet he grew bitter and resentful daily because he had no relationship with his father beyond the generous presents. As he grew, he began to think there was something wrong with him, so he started looking ways to impress his father. His academic performance was great, and he was such an obedient child at home. But his father’s response was for him to try harder.

It wasn’t long before some bad boys in the school took advantage of him and introduced him to drugs, and on one of those occasions, he overdosed and had a heart attack. Blossom George had told her husband many times over the years that the children needed him, and encouraged him to relate more with them, but he assured his wife that he was doing well.

Whenever he saw his wife reading books on parenting or attending parenting conferences, he’d scoff. It was when Temilade had been found unconscious in his room that he wondered for the first time if he really had been the good parent that he thought he was. It was then that he collected all his wife’s parenting books and started devouring them, finally seeing how his actions had driven his son to compensate for his unavailability via drug use. He had promised himself that if his son lived, he would make amends and be present for him. God had given him another chance.

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