Every married person I meet say marriage is hard, every one of them say it’s nothing like a courtship, most women say you don’t know what you are getting into until you are in it, new brides feel like it’s a holiday and they are ready to go back home, and 85% of married men envy their single friends.
My question is, why in God’s name do we turn up every other weekend for something this complicated?
Why do we scream with glee when our friends get proposed to?
Why do we spend millions in celebrating this business?
Let’s be honest, is it even a feasible one?
You know how before any sane human goes into any form of business, they do a feasibility study to see if it would work out, and then go ahead based on the findings or decide to let it go.
Now let’s do a quick one on marriage, you meet a total stranger, whose upbringing is absolutely different from yours, your likes and dislikes, principles and values, circle of friends and allergies… all very different and for some absurd reason, the universe throws you some butterflies and you, being the gullible human aliens know you are, do decide to say I do, and for what?
To have someone to consider before you make any move for your life?
To come together to procreate little humans, and have them depend on you for the rest of your existence?
To see other people you could have some good laugh with but have sanity tell you that’d be cheating and only to get back home after a long day and feel no spark because let’s face it, those butterflies have done their part and have abandoned you to the reality your gullibility handed you…
Read also: All (other) things being equal…in personal finance (relationships/ marriage)
But then again, knowing all these, knowing we are indeed stupid and the butterflies might not last forever, knowing it won’t always be as easy as the first hours of conversation, knowing you might be making the biggest mistake of your life; you take a look at this human, you take a long breath thinking about what you are about to do and how you might be ruining your life, and then you decide they are worth ruining your life for, you see how vulnerable they make you and you choose to hand them the knife, you know you’ll indeed meet other people but you know there’s no other laughter you’d rather share, the one whom you would do absolutely anything to have their mini versions and hope they do depend on you for the rest of your existence…
You do know it’s not feasible but you look at them and decide if this business does work, there’s no one else you’d rather celebrate your successes with and if it doesn’t, there’s no one else you’d rather have tried with, because as stupid and gullible as we are, there’s no beauty deeper than the naive parts of us we let love heal, no strength braver than the weakness we allow love polish and definitely no wholeness as meaningful as the void we permit love to fill.
No, marriage is not feasible, but there are people that are absolutely worth making everything out of a non-feasible venture with… find them!
Faruq Suaad is a young lady from Nigeria.
She obtained her Bachelors degree in International Relations and Diplomacy from Afe Babalola University, Ado Ekiti.
She is a youth partner for Well-being for women foundation.
She has an inspirational and lifestyle blog which has many readers across the globe and inspires everyone that comes across it.
Also, Faruq Suaad volunteers with the MOB foundation; a Non-governmental organization that advocates for the girl child and human rights in general.
She is an Assistant Manager, Air commerce department at Travel Port Nigeria while running her personal business; a clothing brand named Susultana.
She is passionate about mental health, the girl child, women rights, self love and humanity as a whole.
