• Friday, March 29, 2024
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BusinessDay

5 love expression that can transform your marriage

Love is sweet and we are in the season of sharing love with our loved ones. Most times, this expression of love in this season looks superficial and focused on impressing your partner, but if you would have a love that lasts, it has to be love ruled by a greater force beyond your emotions.

Your partner can never fulfil all of your expectations, they are imperfect just as you are but there are expressions of love that are important to have in your home. I want to encourage you to invest in these 5 important pillars into your marriage so that you can both experience love with a higher frequency and grace.

Let us look into these 5 pillars quickly:

1. Empathy: Any marriage that would work will need to be based on empathy. Love is spelt as EMPATHY when you can take your partner into consideration during a conversation or conflict. Many conflicts can be avoided if partners focused on seeing through the feelings of their spouse instead of just focusing on how it was said. If your partner feels hurt about an offense you committed, they may or may not have the emotional intelligence to handle it well. This means that while your partner may be expressing their hurts in an overly expressive way, you can silence the battle with a soft answer that shows that you care. Why would your partner cry over issues that hurt them, and you would ignore? Even for men who rarely get emotional, it is important to read the body language of your husband when he feels hurt and show the empathy that is needed to make things work. This is not limited to offense alone, it also concerns how you deal with issues when your partner does not measure up to a standard. Communication is key and your work is to spend time making it work with your partner.

Read also: Valentine: Celebrating love in a season and milieu of lovelessness

2. Understanding: Do you know that for you to keep understanding your spouse, you need to understudy them? Oh yes! Your partner is growing on a daily basis, with new knowledge and new exposures. It is important for you to keep learning about your partner so as to manage them well. If your partner is growing, some things will change, and you need to learn how to grow with them and adapt too. If your partner starts attending certain trainings that focuses on changes in the mind, personality, finance, marriage, faith and career, it’s important to expect that they will become a different person and you need to follow through with such changes too. Instead of fighting the new change that you see, develop yourself and start observing your partner well to reduce the friction.

3. Tolerance: This is a needed attribute in marriage because your spouse may struggle to do certain things the way you want it. You would even correct your partner till you get irritated by how things flow. Some partners change easily while some stay strong-willed for years fixating on their inability to adjust instead of making commitment towards getting better. You would need to be tolerant about some of your partner’s weaknesses. Your partner is also being tolerant of you, so it should be mutual.

4. Kindness: People keep posting on social media that being kind is one of the best attributes that keeps a marriage. Well, it is one of the attributes that is necessary to manage the love flow in a marriage. Kindness is tested by your reactions towards your spouse when you are angry, tired or offended by your partner. Some spouses become very hard hearted, unresponsive, cold, and then begin to manifest more of unforgiveness, revenge and silent treatment. This does not help any marriage. For you to project more kindness, you must first love yourself, love your partner and be able to understand that you and your partner are imperfect. You should be able to serve a cup of tea or do something kind even when offended, it is a gesture of love. Love is not just emotions but the actions backing up your emotions.

5. Forgiveness: Marriage is about two forgivers. Your spouse will offend you frequently and you must have a pathway for releasing your hurts, do your best to deal with issues immediately but if your spouse enjoys rolling things under the carpet, seek counseling and therapy. Help yourself to deal with your emotional and mental health. Aside that, revenge is not the way to go and being hardened will also make you become the worst of yourself. Understand where your partner is per time and be willing to offer grace and mercy to your spouse.

If you need to speak with a counselor and therapist to deal with issues in your marriage, send me an email here [email protected]

You are deserving of love, so enjoy it well.