As a caregiver, I am always quick to check the mood of persons around me or people I have just met. Sometimes, darkness is not apparent when you meet people who have bouts of depression, anxieties or other such related matters. Sometimes they are quiet, other times they have mood swings and other times still, they may even be loud and irritating.
The triggers for depression are multiple. Sometimes people don’t manage grief well and the passing of a loved one can lead to long-term grieving. The dark clouds descend, then they consume the person and sometimes the pain and sadness never goes away. Mourning anything at all can lead to depression for some. We are not all the same. The passing of an era, end of a show, a friend travelling out or even a favourite sister or brother getting married.
It may also be caused by the end of a relationship. The thoughts of what could have been. The jilted person can sometimes never recover. They mourn lost time and even their rejection of someone who may have stayed. They mourn the loss of a job. They mourn a friend who walks away from a friendship. They have difficulty in moving on. Some persos are fragile like that and overthink and overprocess things. Let me tell people who are like that…sensitive to the core…you did not do anything wrong. Some people cannot manage a good person…they like to be abused. If you treat them well, they leave you. They are not meant to be with you. They like toxicity. Let them go before they pollute your environment. Don’t mourn them. They were never meant to stay. They do not deserve you. Let them go.
And it would not be the first time. Suicide ideation will be the repeated little voice that tells you to end it all. To quiet that voice one needs will power, the support of family, faith and experts who can help manage it
I have always believed that once you trust yourself and have faith, all things will come together and surprise you. The sands of the earth and the prayers of your forebears will speak for you. Etch your name on the sand of time. Tell yourself you have done your best…kind, giving and charitable. The earth would speak for you.
Hold on. Never depend on any one to grant you happiness. Take yourself to lunch. Love yourself. It is hard and complex world we are in now and suicide ideation is beginning to take over the most vulnerable around us.
The passing of Ms Adetutu Adedokun, a brilliant DSS officer via suicide last week, threw me in a spin. According to news reports, she got her Uber driver to stop and jumped into the lagoon after a purported argument with a supposed fiancee. The story is still not clear. But when someone takes their own life, they have been in turmoil longer than the suicide day. Something suddenly snapped and they end it all. That voice tells you no one loves you and you are occupying space. It’s the will to reject that voice that we must learn to manage. To say no…I can conquer this voice. And it would not be the first time. Suicide ideation will be the repeated little voice that tells you to end it all. To quiet that voice one needs will power, the support of family, faith and experts who can help manage it.
I also just read about a man who took his life because he was accused of stealing N40,000. When someone is already weak and vulnerable…words cut deeper. Let us put a cleft on our tongues. Wrong accusations, abuse, talking your partners anyhow. The world is already too complex as it is. Be kind to someone today. It is time to watch out for friends, classmates and family members who are suddenly withdrawn or morose or unhappy for too long. Look out. Reach out! Let us help quieten that voice that says to someone that they don’t matter. It may be a colleague, a friend, added one, family. Help to save a life. Be kind to someone today. We are all hurting all over. No one is immune. Be kind…even to a stranger. Start now!
