Tolu, the toast master!

My smart and savvy friend, Tolu, faced his speaking challenge with mingled emotions. How much he dreads speaking in public! When was the last time he spoke in public let alone make a toast at a high – profiled and star-studded wedding such as this?

“What……?” he thought to himself. He has just been named as the one to make the toast.

A myriad of eyes pierced through him like a knife across butter. The groom just gave his name to the Master-of- Ceremony without informing him!

“I am only one of the groomsmen and not an orator” Tolu protested. But it’s already too late. The more the mammoth stares burrowed through his skin, the more he resolved to save his face.

But his determination  could not stop the goose pimples that enveloped him. He felt the wetness, “oh no…!Thank goodness it’s only his wet palms. He has not peed on himself yet.

Petrified, he collected the microphone and peered at the exotically decorated hall. He scanned through the faces of the crème de-la-crème, elites, opinion leaders, movers and shakers of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. Surely, their high profiles and intimidating credentials further dwarfed and cowed him. He managed a smile to mask the butterflies in his belly.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, our Daddies and Mummies, all protocols observed…”  My dearest friend, Tolu continued.  Well………with the accolades coming afterwards, he gave himself a pat on the shoulder. He sailed through. He became the superstar of the occasion. Every lady wanted to have a snapshot with him…imagine the caption on their picture page (wedding things).

You may have found yourself in Tolu’s shoes, if you spoke well, congrats; if you fumbled, what are you doing to forestall a repeat.

This type of speech is called impromptu or extemporaneous speech. It simply means that you have no prior idea and therefore not ready. It means you will ad lib, that is speak without a script or any form of guide or rehearsal. Many people are scared of making speeches in public, worse still when it is impromptu, especially at events, business meetings and others.

Unprepared speeches can cause fear and embarrassment in front of family and friends. Fear of not knowing what to say can heighten your anxiety attack. Some even suffer a momentary and partial loss of voice. Their palms get sweaty, their blood pressure go up.

Beverly, Beuermann-king, a stress and wellness specialist from Ontario Canada, recognizes that public speaking constitutes public health hazard and is a major stressor to many individuals. The situation becomes worse when one is to deliver a speech without notice.

Nonetheless, making an unprepared speech should not overwhelm you. Consider it a welcoming, supportive, friendly interaction with people. Tell yourself that you are just having a conversation with a larger group of people.

Yes, it takes a special gift for excellent and improvised public speaking.

But what happens when you don’t have the gift of the gab?  Learn the skill. It may not come easy but it is worth the while. It is a nerve wracking experience when you are called upon to speak without any warning. So my advised is to be prepared, though unprepared. No harm in jotting down a few points in case you are called up. Take time to watch others do it and learn their positive scores. At your spare time, you can practice and rehearse speeches for various occasions. Most of all get trained by an expert. Read books, watch videos, listen to instructional audios and improve.

The good news is that some people can think on their feet and quickly do justice to the task. But what if you find it difficult to follow an unplanned format and make it seem planned? Here are few tips for you to hone your skills:

1. Be yourself: – In as much as you may want to impress, be careful not to over talk or over do it. Believe in yourself and what you are saying. Bring forth your unique colour and flavour. Be focused, maintain eye contact. Show enthusiasm.

2. Inject some humor, but your jokes must be appropriate for the audience. Consider their age; be careful with sensitive issues such as religion, politics and sex. Strive to be original otherwise your audience would inwardly charge you for copyright and piracy. If you have been told that you are a funny guy, please do a ‘reality check’ because you may not be a good joke teller. Jokes are meant to add interest and quality to your speech and not otherwise.

3. Be Storied: Stories and anecdotes are great ways to arouse curiosity and interest. It makes your speech unforgetable.

4. Go straight to the point: Do not talk too much and bore or distract. Let your speech be as short as a mini skirt. Avoid verbal clutter. Keep details to a minimum. Marion Woodall, author of “How to talk so men will listen” asserts that poor communicators tend to talk in paragraph. Successful communicators tend to talk in short sentences and even in bullet items. 

5. Mind your body language: Know which gestures are good, acceptable and useful. Your body speaks so be careful.           

6. Be knowledgeable: When you are speaking off the cuff, you are depending on what you already know.  Therefore, widen your horizon. Experience is the best teacher.

Banish all your fears, be focused, have faith and have fun. My dear friend Tolu, was able to let his butterflies fly in formation. You too can overcome you fright. I wish you all the best, my dear toast master! 

CHIAMAKA  BOBBY-UMEANO