The cutting of the hot cake by Banke and Olusola

We are compelled to pause before proceeding to cut the wedding cake as Oba Otudeko, the Chairman of FBN Holdings Plc. (parent company of First Bank of Nigeria Plc.) has punctuated matters by threatening the parents of the bride and groom with an unsolicited visit from the bank manager and ultimately the taxman regarding the cost of this spectacular wedding at the picturesque Palais Namaskar hotel, Marrakesh, Morocco.

Two quick points need to be made – namely, First Bank of Nigeria Plc started off as Bank of British West Africa (BBWA) over a hundred and twenty-three years ago. Actually, my late grandfather Dr. J.K. Randle was one of the founding shareholders. The inaugural meeting was held in 1984 at the Colony Hotel in London. The rest is now history. Perhaps, it is not by mere coincidence that till today, the bank’s head office is at 35 Marina, Lagos – just a few yards from Dr. Randle’s house at 31 Marina, Lagos.

The other point which needs to be made is that this is a magic moment which will remain with all of us for eternity. Our prayer is that the purses of our hosts will be replenished and that this joint enterprise will turn out not to be an expense but rather an investment in the future of both Banke and Olusola Lawson. May the investment reap a bountiful harvest which will manifest in sanctified dividends – a happy home and beautiful children who would do our nation proud.

Some of you may be aware that this magnificent hotel and its breathtaking fountains combined with the splendour of its gardens was built by a Lebanese businessman who made his fortune in Nigeria. It is not our call to take him to task for locating the hotel in Marrakesh, Morocco rather than in Lagos, Nigeria. Business and investment decisions are nearly always driven by hard-headed realities and calculations rather than sentimental considerations.

I suspect that none of us was lured to embark on this journey to Morocco by the catchy advertising jingle on CNN with which we have been bombarded:

“Come to Morocco

The land of snake-charmers

Dancing monkeys

And money doublers.”

You never know, you may well double your money before you depart. We shall have to wait and see.

However, what is instructive is that the oldest university in the world is located in Timbuktu, Mali 4,521 kilometres away from Marrakesh. In the pursuit of knowledge, no distance is ever too far.

Indeed, from history we have learnt that at some point the Songhai Empire stretched all the way from Morocco to the northern belt of Nigeria.

Hence, we should be forgiven for being somewhat overwhelmed by the dexterity with which the Moroccans appear to be managing their affairs. The agitation for the breakaway Sahrawi Republic seems to have subsided and the country which does not have a drop of oil has anchored its destiny on phosphate, gum Arabic and massive tourism.

The local airport at Marrakesh also serves as the international gateway with over forty flights daily. It is an architectural masterpiece and a testimony to grand vision matched by business acumen. It certainly puts our Nigerian airports to shame. Also, it has not escaped our notice that regardless of the excellent hotel facilities spread out over the vast expanse of land (mostly desert), more and more hotels are under construction in order to derive maximum benefits from the massive inflow of tourists into what is clearly a safe haven and a foretaste of paradise.

As for those who have a grudge or reservation against destination weddings, let them sheath their swords. After the festivities, many of us will stay behind for very serious business and deliberations over the affairs of Nigeria as well as its destiny. Both the United States of America and Britain will shortly announce their endorsement of (and confidence) in the Vice-President of Nigeria, Professor Yemi Osinbajo SAN who has been holding fort for our ailing President Muhammadu Buhari GCFR.

However, the northerners are already scheming to retain political control by insisting that regardless of whatever fate befalls President Buhari, power must remain in the north for the unexpired “deemed” eight-years tenure of Buhari.

Both the U.S. and U.K. are determined to forestall the looming crisis by being pro-active. This is a massive endeavour which would involve inviting Nigeria’s political leaders – former Heads of State; Vice-Presidents, former and current Governors; traditional rulers, religious leaders; captains of industry, bankers, chartered accountants, lawyers etc. to Marrakesh for serious negotiations over the future of Africa’s most populous nation (estimated at close to 200 million).

We are in the right place at the right time. As confirmation of this magical moment, let us replay the welcome address of the proprietor of the hotel:

“It is with great pleasure that we welcome you to Palais Namaskar, the oasis of wellbeing in the Palmeraie area, a place of perfect tranquility between desert and majestic mountains.

Here you will discover the benefits of our personalised fitness coaching and sensual spa therapies that help to dissolve stress and transform moods. Fine dining and local gastromony are also an integral part of this unique experience. Our chefs have devised a selection of menus for healthy eating using local and organic produce.

Palais Namaskar is a destination in itself where you can revive health, regain equilibrium and relax in stylish surroundings.

Since Palais Namaskar opened in April 2012, we are proud to have been recognized with several prestigious awards, the latest being ‘Best Hotel in Africa’ by Prix Villegiature and ‘Best Luxury Fitness Spa’ in Africa by the World Luxury Spa Awards 2015.

The Namaskar team will endeavour to make your stay truly unforgettable.”

Immediately after the wedding and the departure of the bride and bridegroom for their honeymoon at an undisclosed destination, the business of our “Rescue Mission” will commence in earnest.

Our host, King Mohammed VI says Nigeria is too hot to handle. His Majesty has therefore invited Mr. António Guterres the Secretary-General of the United Nations as well as Jim Yong Kim President of the World Bank and the indefatigable Mrs. Christine Lagarde to join us in crafting a peace deal to be signed by the major contenders for power and the “Balance of Forces” in Nigeria well ahead of the looming crisis. The militants in the Niger-Delta of Nigeria are restive while Nnamdi Kanu has ratcheted up the agitation for Biafra.

 

J.K. Randle OFR; FCA